Journey to and Through Motherhood: Lily: 1 Year and 9 Weeks (4/26/10

I worked in Brighton on Monday through Wednesday of this week which meant that I got to sleep in an extra half hour each day and had some time to myself before and after work since Paul was in charge of taking Lily to and from daycare. Lily did better with our extra time apart this week but again insisted on nursing in the evening on just those days. After work on Monday, it seemed that nothing could go right. First, I tried to do a load of laundry and the washer wouldn’t stop filling with water, even when I turned it off! I had to holler for Paul to quickly come inside from planting our dahlia bulbs and turn off the water before the washer overflowed. He succeeded in stopping the tub from overflowing but we had a flood in the laundry room, nonetheless, from somewhere beneath the washer or in the lines. So, obviously, doing laundry was out until the washer could be fixed! Shortly after that happened, Lily was playing in the kitchen cupboards (her new favorite pastime) and pulled out and broke my bread pan. I thought that we had put locks on all of the cupboards containing breakables but apparently we missed one. Thankfully, it broke into fairly large pieces and she didn’t get cut. We then decided to head outside to play since the inside was apparently not a good place to be. Lily had a lot of fun outside, as always. She played in her Cozy Coupe, went for a wagon ride, and explored the flower beds. Later that evening, Lily was playing in the cupboards again and took out all of the Tupperware containers and scattered them around the kitchen floor (something she loves to do) but this time, she picked them all back up, stacked them together, put them back on the shelf, pushed the shelf back in, and shut the cupboard door. I was so proud of her for cleaning up after herself! What a good girl!

Tuesday was another challenging day. As I was heading out the door to work, I could not find my keys anywhere. I tore the house apart while unsuccessfully trying to call Paul on his cell phone. I finally got a hold of him on the work phone only to discover that he had both sets of keys in his pocket! As I am not skilled in the art of carjacking, I was pretty much stuck at home and already late for work. There is only one PFT person at the Brighton Health Center so there was no one to cover my busy morning for me. I had to come up with a solution quickly so I called Kirsten to see if she could give me a ride. Thankfully, she could but she had to wait until Leah was dropped off at her house before she could leave. So, Kirsten, my knight in shining armor, drove me to work with a van full of kids. I was so incredibly grateful! During the ride, Nate kept asking me when he could see Lily. Meanwhile, Kirsten and I were whispering back and forth as she wanted to arrange to pick Lily up from daycare that afternoon as a surprise to Nate. I ended up getting to work only a half an hour late which was pretty good considering the circumstances but my first patient was already waiting and my machine was not yet calibrated. It was certainly a stressful start to the day not to mention the fact that it blew my chances for the $250 on time bonus that quarter. I needed Paul to pick me up after work and left him multiple messages to that fact but again, he never answered his cell phone. How exasperating! He claimed that he forgot to turn it off of vibrate and couldn’t feel it in his pocket. I think the real reason was that he didn’t want to listen to me nag him about stealing my keys! Since I had about an hour to kill after work, I walked to the nearby Verizon store and got a new cell phone. My old phone’s battery kept dying after about a ten minute call so I was glad to ditch it for a new cool phone with a data plan. I ended up getting the new Samsung Reality. I am pleased with it thus far.

Paul finally got my messages and picked me up at the Verizon store. Shortly after we got home, Kirsten and Nate arrived to drop Lily off. Kirsten had picked Lily up from daycare around 3pm and had Lily waiting at the bus stop with her to surprise the kids. Apparently Nate screamed, “Lily!” at the top of his lungs as soon as he saw her. I just love their relationship. He has called himself her ‘big brother’ multiple times and has apparently been crying that he misses Lily since Kirsten stopped watching her so I am glad that they got to spend some time together. Kirsten was afraid when she picked Lily up that she wouldn’t remember her but Lily instantly started smiling as soon as she saw Kirsten. They have such a wonderful bond as well. I hope to maintain Lily’s relationship with Kirsten and her family despite the fact that she is no longer Lily’s sitter. We had a nice visit with Kirsten and got to catch up on what they have been up to for the past month. It seems odd that we haven’t seen her in forever since we used to chat daily. I really miss her.

The rest of the week was a blur of working, gardening, and playing outside with Lily. I cleaned the house on Thursday night after Paul and Lily went to sleep which meant that I didn’t get to bed until 2:45am. It totally sucks but I can only really get things done when Lily is sleeping. Unfortunately, it means missing out on sleep myself! Friday was a beautiful and very warm day so we stopped by the Matthaei Botanical Gardens after we picked Lily up from daycare to walk around and take some more pictures. Lily refused to let me put her down in the daffodils but loved running and playing on the bridges, of course. She is really into running and loves to run all over the house and yard. She is getting really coordinated at it and is surprisingly fast.

Paul took the washer apart and did some troubleshooting throughout the week. He finally figured out what the problem was and found a store in Canton that had the part he needed in stock. He picked up the part on Saturday, put it in, and fixed the leaky water lines as well. I was so grateful to finally have the washer in working order as we were critically low on clean socks and underwear. We spent the rest of the weekend doing about 8 loads of laundry. It can really pile up! After he got the washer rolling and the laundry started, I was finally able to lay down for a short nap before going in for a midnight overtime shift in the ABG Lab. Even though I only got about an hour of sleep, I didn’t get as fatigued this overnight shift as I did during the last one. It also wasn't nearly as busy so I actually got to read an entire book in my down time. (I am a really fast reader.) I read "The Art of Racing in the Rain". It was a wonderful book and was actually the first book I have read for pleasure since Lily was born! My mom read it for her book club and bought it for me for my birthday since she enjoyed it so much. I still worried all night about Lily as it was only our second night apart but again, she did fine. The fatigue hit me on my drive home on Sunday morning so I went to bed shortly after making Lily’s breakfast and spending some quality time with her. My parents came over to watch Lily while I slept so that Paul could head out to Clare to plant the trees that he bought from the county for his parents’ property. My parents stayed to help after I got up and my mom made us a delicious chicken pot roast for dinner. We fed Lily some nice, thick mashed potatoes for dinner and I let her control her own spoon. She delighted in scooping the mashed potatoes (with a little help from me) and putting the spoon in her mouth all by herself. She had so much fun with it that she ended up eating two big bowls of potatoes! I was most proud that she didn’t throw the bowl across the room as that is usually the fate of any bowl or plate that we try to serve her on which is why we always put her food directly on her high chair tray or hold onto the serving piece tightly ourselves. My parents were surprised that she kept holding the spoon in her left hand, even when my mom tried a few times to move it to the right. I wasn’t surprised as Lily definitely has lefty tendencies. No one that we can think of on either side of our families is left-handed but apparently handedness is not necessarily an inherited trait. Paul got home fairly late that night and was exhausted from a hard day of planting.

I am glad to say that Lily did not cry at all this week when she was dropped off at daycare. Finally! She didn’t cry when Paul dropped her off on Monday through Wednesday which was encouraging but I thought that perhaps she would cry when I dropped her off on Thursday and Friday since she tends to have more difficulty transitioning away from me. To my surprise, after a short cuddle and some kisses with me, she reached for Tammy and didn’t bat an eye when I left either day. I am glad that she is adjusting and I certainly feel a lot less guilty about leaving her when she isn’t crying. Not that I want her to suffer when I am gone but is it bad that I worry that she doesn’t miss me as much anymore? I know, I know. I should be happy that she is developing an attachment to Tammy and truly, I am. It is just my motherly instinct to be jealous of her bonds with other caregivers.

Here are some pictures from this week.

Lily snacking on a leftover breadstick from my birthday dinner at Olive Garden on Monday evening. I love how she daintily lifts her pinkie when she eats: