The mural is done!

As of Sunday, the mural is finally done and the nursery is ready for Lily. Yeah!

The left side of the mural wall which is Pooh's house-


The center of the mural which is the classic Pooh characters looking up at butterflies in the sky-


The right side of the mural which spills over onto the adjacent wall and includes a tree, a box turtle, more butterflies, a beehive, bees, and lots of flowers-


Pooh's front door close up-

The Pooh characters and butterflies close up-

The box turtle and flowers under the tree close up-

The beehive and some bees close up-

The flowers and butterflies on the adjacent wall close up-

The left side of the mural-

The middle of the mural-

The right side of the mural-

The mural and nursery furniture as you walk into the room-

The crib and pooh curtains on the window-

The wall opposite the mural-

We love the mural and can't wait to share it with Lily.

36 Weeks Along (Friday, 1/23/09)

I am nine months along now! One of the cruel jokes of pregnancy is that it actually lasts ten months. 40 weeks divided by 4 weeks in a months = 10 months, not 9! So I have one more month to go.
On Saturday morning we had our final Lamaze class. This class was more focused on transition and pushing as well as how life will be once the baby is here. We practiced many different positions and breathing techniques for both laboring and pushing including doing an exercise where we caused ourselves pain with a clothespin and did nothing versus causing the same pain and using a favored position and breathing technique to get through it. It was pretty interesting because the second trial was less painful and afterward, we learned that the pain on the second trial lasted twice as long as the first. We also watched a video about medications and interventions in labor, discussed postpartum physical and emotional changes, touched a little bit on breastfeeding, and finished with an exercise about what labor options are important to us. I found the class very beneficial and was really glad that we took it. It snowed all day and the roads were getting kind of bad but we managed to run a few errands around Ann Arbor before coming home to do more mural painting and baby preparations.
On Sunday Paul worked on the mural pretty much all day while I spent the first half of the day being lazy and the second half doing six loads of laundry and cleaning. The mural is looking really good and is getting close to being done. That’s a good thing because we cannot put the nursery together until then. Right now most of the things we got at the showers are piled on Rachel’s bed until the dressers and everything can go into place. I will feel better once we have the nursery ready in case Lily decides to make an early appearance.
On Tuesday I realized that the light rhythmic kicking I was feeling was actually Lily having hiccups. My whole tummy was bouncing which was a really weird feeling. I had the same feeling on Monday but just didn’t recognize what it was. I had it again on Thursday. Paul spent every day after work on the mural and I spent every day trying to organize all of our baby stuff and clean the house around it. Babies sure require a lot of merchandise! Our goal is to be done with the mural and have the nursery assembled this weekend. We made plans to have my parents come over on Sunday so my dad can help Paul move the dressers into the room and my mom can sew some straps on our crib headboard bumper so that we can safely use it on our sleigh style crib. We work best with deadlines so now we have to be done by Sunday afternoon.
I had my two week OB check on Friday. From now on, the checks will be every week. I lost another half pound making the total loss 12.5 since I got pregnant. I thought that I would finally gain weight at this appointment because my stomach seems so much bigger, my appetite has increased, and I know that now the baby is packing on fat. But he said my measurements, while normal, are not much bigger than last time. What has probably happened is that my stomach muscles have just given up trying to hold the baby in tightly. I wanted to know how big Lily is now but he said that they really cannot guess with any accuracy so he would prefer not to. Darn. We set up tour of the hospital birthing center for next week. I can’t believe how close everything is getting. When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted these months to fly by but I have to say that I am really enjoying being pregnant. How amazing is it to have a life kicking around inside me. It is so miraculous and I am not yet ready for it to end. Plus, I am getting a little scared of the next unfamiliar phase of it all.

News from the womb…
From this point on, the ‘finishing period’ of growth begins, during which the baby prepares for its birth. During this finishing period, the fat being laid down under the surface of the skin helps the baby maintain an even body temperature and serves as a reserve that can be burned as energy. As fat deposits continue, the baby’s limbs have begun to dimple at the elbows and knees and creases are forming around the wrists and neck. The subcutaneous fat now makes up about 8% of the baby’s body weight and will make up 12-15% at full term. The baby now fits snugly within the womb and can only turn from side to side.

35 Weeks Along (Friday, 1/16/09)

On Saturday we got eight inches of snow. Needless to say, we stayed in that day. Paul worked on the mural and I did some house cleaning. Fun stuff. Betsy has been gone for one week now. We still expect to hear her nails on the wood floor. I dropped some food on the floor and no one ran over to gobble it up. It just sat there until I cleaned it up myself. That was odd.
Sunday we went up to Davison for my last baby shower, thrown by my mom at the Davison Country Club. It was my biggest shower and it was really nice. The decorations and cakes were adorable and the brunch was very tasty. I know renting the space and paying for all the food wasn’t easy or cheap and I really appreciate all my mom did for me. Two of my friends from the south side of the state, Jill and Krista, couldn’t make it due to the massive amounts of snow and ice they got. This has been a really harsh winter. But everyone else made it and I think they had a lot of fun. I got some baby books including an adorable book/stuffed animal, a winter jacket, an exer-saucer, Boppy pillow, burp cloths, placemats, bibs, sleep sacks, another beautiful quilt handmade by my mom, diapers, a lamp, baby shoes, headbands, a teddy bear, a health care kit, baby wash, a temperature sensing rubber ducky, money, hooded bath towels, baby wipes, a baby relief kit, a bath time kit, a bunting, a blanket, washcloths, a pack and play, bowls, pacifiers, spoons, lap pads, a mobile, an auto mirror, an activity mirror, a snap and go car seat stroller, an off-road stroller, stroller hooks, lots of baby products, and lots of cute clothes. Paul came with me to Davison but hung out with my dad, Joe, Mike, and Ean during the shower. Here are some pictures from the shower:

the adorable cake that was on each table-

the table of mom's work friends-

the table of mom's card club friends-

the table of family and neighbors-

the table of mom's high school friends and their kids-

Mom, Grandma, and I-

opening a present from Carol-

the pets quilt mom made me (Nolan, Betsy, Reiley, and Amber)-


The work week was pretty uneventful and bitter cold. The temperature on our drive to work was -13 on Thursday and -17 on Friday. Brrr! I am ready for winter to be over. I hope it warms up considerably before Lily is born. Paul spent almost every night working on the mural. I didn’t accomplish very much this week. Lily has been keeping me up a lot at night kicking and I have to get up to pee at least three times each night so I have been pretty tired throughout the days. My appetite has increased and I have felt a few more Braxton-Hicks contractions but they have been pretty minor.
On Friday after work we had our first Lamaze class. We signed up for a two day condensed childbirth class through the Lamaze Family Center of Ann Arbor which was 3 hours on Friday evening and will be 3 hours on Saturday morning. The teacher was really nice and laid back. Most of the people in the class are due around the same time as us. One couple is due on the 10th, one on the 18th, and three on the 28th. There were nine couples total in the class. For our first class we covered labor and birth terminology, pre-labor signs, how to know when you are in labor, when to go to the hospital, what’s normal and what’s not, different breathing techniques, different laboring positions, how the partner can help, how to massage, etc. We focused more today on early and active labor. At the end of the class we watched a birth without medication (not graphic). Tomorrow, we will watch one with an epidural and medication. I was really relieved that the class wasn’t all about how you should do everything naturally and not get an epidural because I am getting one, dang it. Instead it was very non-judgmental and seems to be covering all options. We got home around 10 p.m. and Paul worked on the mural a little bit but I went straight to bed and actually slept pretty well for once.

News from the womb…
A baby delivered now will tend to lose considerably more weight than a full term baby because its digestive tract is still too immature for complete independence. As a safety precaution, the baby is storing nutrition from me to help itself in case of an early birth. The baby’s skin now looks pink and smooth because the underlying deposits of fat have masked some of the redness of the capillaries. Even babies who will have darker skin later may have a pinkish cast now because their skin itself is still unpigmented.

34 Weeks Along (Friday, 1/9/09)

After almost no sleep on Friday night, we got up early Saturday to take Betsy for a nice long walk, fed her a big breakfast of pureed leftover chicken, and cuddled with her. I asked her if she was sure it was time to go and her answer was an increase in her loud labored breathing. I took that as a yes and was thankful for her agreement. She slowly but obediently got in the car and rode to the vet’s office like it was any other car adventure. That broke my heart. After signing the consent form through tears, we took her straight into a room and they explained the whole process of putting her down. First she was given a shot of a sedative which took about 10 minutes to take effect. I sat on the floor with her petting her and talking to her. Her breathing was really labored as she sat with me but as the sedative took effect, it got a lot easier for her to breathe. As she got sleepy, she laid down with her head in my lap and drifted off to sleep while I petted her and told her what a good dog she was. Then the vet assistants came in and asked if we were ready to let go. How can you ever be ready? They gave her the shot which is basically an overdose of anesthesia. She woke up a little when the injection of the medication started then fell back asleep and stopped breathing before the all of the medication was even in her. They checked that her heart had stopped and told us that she was gone. Then they left the room and gave us time with her to finish saying our goodbyes. I continued to sit on the floor with her and stroked her silky ears and told her goodbye, how much I loved her, and thanked her for all of the wonderful memories for quite a while. I didn’t want our time together to end even though I knew she was already gone. It was so hard and we, of course, bawled through the entire process. Then we took her home and buried her in the backyard. In the spring we will make her grave prettier and get her a little headstone. When we came back inside, I emailed out Betsy’s obituary.
I had little time to compose myself before I had to start getting ready for my family baby shower at my Cousin Ashlee’s house. It was really hard to pull it together but I was kind of glad for the forced distraction from my grief. The shower was beautiful. Ashlee, Aunt Robin, and Aunt Margaret were the hosts and they really outdid themselves with the decorations, food, and everything. It was beautiful and very thoughtful, right down to the flower arrangements of lilies for Lilia. I got sleep sacks, pooh photo albums, books, two beautiful dresses that were handmade by Jeremy’s grandmother, bibs, cute handmade blocks with bells in them with a carrier and a beautiful blanket hand knit by Carol LaVictoire, a cute antique style handmade quilt by my mom, a stroller, a car seat, a crib mattress protector, a dishwasher caddy, a crib sheet, blankets, a sassy toy gift set, a diaper bag, car seat toys, a rubber ducky bath temperature gauge, a hooded pooh towel, magnets, window clings, ducky slippers, a Bumbo, some CDs, socks, and tons of onesies and other cute clothes. It was a very nice shower. Paul came with me but he hung out with my dad, his dad, and John at my parents' house during the shower. Here are some pictures from the shower:

some of the cute decorations-

Aunt Robin, Aunt Margaret, me, and Ashlee-

Mom and I -

Pooh hooded towel from Grandma-

the handmade quilt from my mom-

On the way home in the car, we had to tell Rachel about Betsy. When we walked in the door, we expected to hear Betsy’s tail thumping in her crate as always and instead opened the door to silence. I walked into the kitchen and instinctively looked into her crate, expecting to see her there and the crying started again. Before we went to bed, Paul turned on the back light and looked for animals in the backyard as he always does before her last walk of the night. Then he remembered she was gone and turned the light back off. It is going to take a long time for us to get used to life without her.
Sunday was the all day event of taking Rachel to the airport. It was crazy busy there. At least her plane was on time. Afterwards, we went grocery shopping. I had to sit down for a while in the store due to some cramping. My uterus was tightening and I finally recognized it as false labor. I was probably dehydrated, obviously stressed, and haven’t slept all week so I am sure that didn’t help.
On Tuesday I had my OB check. I will have appointments every two weeks instead of monthly now. Everything looked good. The baby is growing well and is in a downward position. I lost another pound making the total loss 12 since I got pregnant.
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. I took down Christmas decorations but just haven’t yet been able to box up all of Betsy’s things. Amber needs her crate to climb up to the cat food and I am not ready to get rid of all signs of her in the house. It snowed this week and covered up her remaining paw prints in the existing snow outside. That made me sad. Paul did a lot of work on the mural. It is looking really good.

News from the womb…
The baby’s eyes are opening during the alert times of its daily cycle and closing when it sleeps. The eyes are usually blue at this time, regardless of the final color they will become, because the pigmentation that colors the eyes is not fully developed. Final formation of eye pigmentation generally requires a few weeks’ exposure to light. The baby has begun to develop its own immune reaction to infections in addition to the immune protection provided by me. The baby’s fingernails have now grown to reach the end of the fingertips. The baby has grown another ½ inch this week making it about 13.5 inches in length from crown to rump with another 3/8 inch increase in head circumference. The baby weights at least 4.5 pounds now.

33 Weeks Along (Friday 1/2/09)

On Saturday we met my parents at a halfway point between our homes in Fenton to pick up Rachel. We had a pretty relaxed day. Sunday the power went out about 4 in the morning due to high winds and didn’t come on until 4 in the afternoon. It was super cold out and got down to 59 degrees in the house. Paul couldn’t get the generator started which totally sucked. Especially since it is only a year old and has been used once. He finally got it going after the power was already back on. Betsy had a really good and energetic weekend. The only bad thing is that she is snoring super loud when sleeping but breathing fine when awake. Sunday night we met my parents at the halfway point again and dropped of Rachel for my mom to watch for a few days. My poor dad had been working all day driving generators around for the phone company so he was tired, cold, and hungry so they had dinner at the diner we met at and we had dessert.
Monday was pretty uneventful. Tuesday, my mom ended up taking Rachel to her best friend Katelyn’s house in Northville for a sleepover. Rachel was really excited about that! Paul has a cold and between his snoring and Betsy’s, I got little sleep all week. Tuesday night I ended up sleeping in Rachel’s room with her white noise machine blaring.
Wednesday we worked only a half day then picked up Rachel at Katelyn’s. Her parents are so nice. They offered to watch Rachel when I go into labor and offered baby supplies as their youngest is a toddler now. I may have to take them up on it once I have my last baby shower and know what I still need. We spent New Year’s Eve having a Christmas movie marathon since we were too busy to watch Christmas movies before the holiday. We watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and Elf. After that we watched the ball drop then went straight to bed.
Thursday was New Year’s Day so we didn’t have to work. The dog seems to be doing poorly. She has labored breathing even when awake which concerns me greatly. I know that the end is quickly approaching and we will probably have to put her down this weekend so she doesn’t suffer. It is so hard. We drove to my parents’ house for dinner and drop Rachel off so my mom could watch her while we work on Friday. We sure have exchanged her back and forth a lot this week! While we were finishing dinner, my Aunt Margaret called to say that she was in town (for my baby shower on Saturday) so we went over to my Grandma’s house after dinner to visit with her and exchange Christmas presents. We got home late and I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep hearing Betsy snore and worrying about her. She doesn’t thump her tail on the crate when we come home anymore which is a sure sign that she is no longer feeling good. It is tearing me up inside. I love her so much.
Friday morning it was decided that Betsy needs to be put down on Saturday morning. Her breathing is a lot worse and she has no energy except when she is outside or around food. I spent the whole drive into work crying and kept having to excuse myself throughout the day. It was so hard making the phone call to the vet to set up her appointment. I felt evil scheduling her death although I know that oddly it is the humane thing to do. When we got home, Paul dug her grave in the frozen ground and I worked on her obituary. There was a lot of crying on both our parts. It was odd because I have never seen Paul cry before. One nice thing was going through all of our digital pictures and setting aside a folder of pictures of Betsy. She has been such a wonderful part of our lives for the past 5 years. It was fun reliving the memories but so sad to think that we will not be adding any new ones. Betsy and I spent a lot of time cuddling. Needless to say, Friday night was another sleepless one.
On the baby front, I have been getting lots of kicks, peeing very frequently, and worrying about how all the stress is affecting Lily.

News from the womb…
The volume of amniotic fluid has reached its maximum. As the baby grows, there will be less fluid and more baby occupying the uterus. Considerable movements will be felt from within the womb as the baby will be resting on the walls of the uterus rather than floating in a fluid-filled space. As more and more fat has accumulated under the baby’s skin, its skin color has changed from dark red and transparent to pinkish and translucent. The baby is making its greatest demands for protein and fat right now. In the last six to eight weeks before birth, it will double in weight. The baby’s head circumference has increased by about 3/8 inch this week due to its rapid brain growth. The baby has grown another 1 inch this week making it about 13 inches long.

32 Weeks Along (Friday, 12/26/08)

I am eight months along now!
Saturday was probably about the worst day I have had in as long as I can remember. Notably it was also the 20th anniversary of the death of my Grandma Hernandez which my mom could not dedicate a mass to at church because apparently there is a two dead person dedication limit. How dumb is that!? The day started with a depressing trip to the vet’s office. A little over a week ago we noticed enlarged lymph nodes on the sides of Betsy’s throat. This is common when someone has an infection so we just decided to keep an eye on them. By Thursday they were noticeable bigger and harder and we observed that she was making some grunting sounds when eating and exerting herself as if they were pressing on her esophagus and windpipe so we made her a vet appointment for today. We took her in to see the vet today and he did a lymph node biopsy which showed that she has Lymphosaroma. This is an incurable cancer in dogs. Our three shitty options were to do chemo for $5000 which may buy us 6 months to a year with her, put her on steroids which are more for comfort but may shrink the tumors and will give us 6 weeks to 6 months with her, or let her go. All of the options suck because they all end in us losing our beloved beagle. We chose to go with Prednisone and a whole lot of love. I spent most of the morning crying. Once, she came running over and pressed up against my leg to comfort me. What a sweet and selfless pup. I had to pull it together to pick up Rachel from the airport which was yet another nightmare. We got there only to find out that her flight was severely delayed (in 10 minute increments, mind you) and the mean lady at the check in said that only one of us could go past security to the gate to get her. Clearly that would be Paul which meant that I had to wait in the crazy crowded check in area which had no seats. Since her plane wasn’t even in the air yet and we weren’t really keen on waiting in separate areas while paying $10/hour for parking, we decided to leave the airport until we got a call from Lisa saying that she was in the air. We went to a nearby Bob Evans where I broke down yet again. We had lunch and waited forever. The waitress kept coming by to see if we needed anything else and to confirm that she gave us the check. We finally got the call that Rachel was in the air and headed back to the airport. We got back in line to see if they would give me a gate pass and this time they did with no problem. I don’t know what was up with the first lady! We sat forever until Rachel’s plane landed (about 2.5 hours behind schedule) then fought the crowds at baggage claim until we were finally out of the airport a mere six hours after first arriving there. What fun! We decided to delay telling Rachel about Betsy so I had to stay composed all evening but I went to bed very early without dinner because I just wanted the whole entire nightmare of a day to be over with.
Sunday we were pretty lazy. We told Rachel about Betsy and she was sad, of course. She wrote about it in her journal and taped in a dog hair and a picture to remember Betsy by. I thought that was very sweet. Since Rachel was in New York during Paul's birthday, we made him a cake and celebrated his belated birthday Sunday evening. I always make him some kind of crazy cake for his birthday. This year it was a giant bloodshot eyeball.

Monday, Rachel stayed with her friend Kassiana while we worked. Kassiana’s parents, Pat and Auriel, hosted gathering after work with appetizers then we all went out to dinner. It was a gang of people that Paul used to live with and hang out with including Chris Heil whom we haven’t seen in a long time. It was fun but we didn’t get home until quite late so we were tired on Tuesday.
Tuesday afternoon, we received a call that the slides the vet sent to a pathologist were confirmed to be Lymphosarcoma. We knew it, of course, but I will still holding out for a miracle. She is not as perky as she used to be but still runs around outside with vigor and hasn’t lost her appetite. We did have to switch her to soft foods, though, which are easier for her to swallow.
Wednesday was Christmas Eve. Paul had the day off and I only had to work a half day. I made Paul get a picture of Rachel and Betsy in front of our “Eagle Run” neighborhood sign so that I can later Photoshop it into saying “Beagle Run” as we always call our neighborhood.

We have been meaning to do that for quite a while and now time seems to be running out. I got home at noon, did my makeup, changed, then we pack ourselves, our presents, and Betsy into the car to go to my parent’s house. One of the side effects of her illness is increased thirst, therefore increased drinking and increased urination so we didn’t want to leave her alone for too long. We went to Christmas mass at St. John’s then stopped back at my parents’ house to walk the dog and gather stuff for dinner at Grandma’s with Lee, Robin, Ashlee, Jeremy, and Todd. It was a really nice evening. The rain earlier in the day that had melted all of our pretty snow turned the roads to ice so our drive home was super slow. We didn’t get home until after midnight and didn’t get to bed until about 1:30am. We were exhausted.
On Christmas morning, Rachel woke us up at 8am. We had fun opening gifts but my enjoyment was hampered by the dog seeming to have difficulty breathing. It appeared to be a positional thing and when she got up from the way she was laying, her breathing improved. Her lymph nodes were even bigger, though, so I know that her time with us is quite limited. After presents, we had breakfast, got ready, and went to my parents’ house to open gifts with them. We brought the dog with us as we were going to be gone for a long time again.

We somehow got way behind schedule which was made worse by the fact that we hit a pothole on the way there and blew out a tire. Poor Paul had to change the tire in the slush in his nice clothes. Of course, to get to the tire, he had to unload all of our gifts and the dog crate onto the side of the road which was lovely. We finally got there and did a nice gift exchange with them. My parents got us a really nice HD camcorder to record special baby events. (NOT THE BIRTH!) While we were getting ready to leave their house to go to Gloria’s for dinner, Paul gave Betsy her dinner and I gave Betsy her medicine wrapped in a piece of cheese. I totally wasn’t thinking and gave her a piece that was too big for her to currently handle but a size she would have downed in a single bite just a week ago. Seconds after swallowing it, she fell over backwards convulsing. Having just renewed our CPR certification, Paul started doing back blows and chest thrusts while I rubbed her throat and tried to comfort her while she choked. My dad meanwhile was shining a flashlight in her mouth to see if he could see the obstruction while my mom tried calling the emergency vet and Rachel hid in the basement. We stopped CPR to let her die peacefully but somehow Betsy cleared the cheese. I call it a Christmas miracle. I was so stressed that she was going to die and it was all my fault. She was pretty much drained for the rest of the day, poor thing. She breathed okay from then on although her snoring is getting quite loud. We had a good visit at Gloria’s but I was distracted reliving the horrible incident over and over in my head which pretty much ruined the rest of the day for me. We left Rachel at my parent’s house that night because we had to work on Friday. We got home late yet again then had to unpack the car so we didn't get to bed until around 1 a.m.
Friday I was beat from all of the stress and lack of sleep. It is never a good time to lose a beloved pet but especially over the holidays when everything is supposed to be happy. Plus emotional pregnant women shouldn’t have to deal with stuff like this. Work was fairly uneventful. We were supposed to spend the evening packing to go up north for the weekend but Paul’s parents called us to tell us not to come due to the weather forecast for flooding on Saturday and refreezing of the roads with lots of snow on Sunday. Rachel was supposed to stay the week up there with them but luckily my mom volunteered to let Rachel stay with her instead. I feel bad that we missed spending time with them at Thanksgiving and now at Christmas but the weather up there has been horrible. Plus it’s probably best for poor Betsy not to do so much traveling although she does greatly enjoy the great white north. Her energy was pretty low today. I am worried. It has only been a week since diagnosis but she is going downhill so quickly.
On the baby front, the kicks are still intense and frequent. My hips have been pretty good this week. I get full so fast that I couldn’t really enjoy all the holiday food.

News from the womb…
The iris of the baby’s eye has begun to respond to the intensity of light by opening under dim lighting conditions and closing under bright lighting conditions. This activity is automatic and is called the pupillary reflex. The baby’s toenails are now fully formed. The baby weights about 3 to 3.75 pounds and measures 1 foot in length.