Journey to and Through Motherhood: Lily's Tenth Week (5/4/09

Monday was my first day back at work. I was not happy. It was so hard to drop Lily off at Kirsten's and walk away. Luckily Lily was all smiles when we left. I was, of course, in tears. I had a super busy day at work so it was a bit hard jumping right into the fire. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out when I could get away to pump milk for Lily. There are breast pumping rooms around the hospital that are equipped with pumps, you just have to bring your kit to attach to it. I tried mine out weeks ago and it worked fine so I left my own pump at home with the intention of using the hospital's pumps instead which work better and faster. Well, I ended up leaving a part at home so I could only pump one side at a time. Then I couldn't get it to work in the first room I went to so I had to run to the other side of the hospital to find that I couldn't get suction from another pump either. I figured there was something wrong with one of my parts so I called the lactation consultant in a panic. They sent me over new parts so I could pump both sides. I tried pumping again on my lunch break. By that time, I felt like I was about to burst. I found that apparently the pump in the room closest to me is just plain broken. The other pump worked fine with my new valves. However, I barely had enough time to get to the pump room, set up, pump for 10 minutes, and get back in my 30 minute lunch break which meant no eating. On my 15 minute afternoon break, it took 5 minutes to get there and 5 minutes to get back so I could only pump for about 5 minutes. I was so frustrated but am really committed to continue with breastfeeding Lily. I was starving all day from missing lunch and cried multiple times. I just about ran to the car after work and hurried over to Kirsten's only to find that the road we needed to take was closed due to an accident so we were routed on this giant detour! Finally, we got there and I was able to see my precious baby. Then all was finally right with the world.
I read that many times when moms return to work, their babies end up eating less from the bottle since they don't really like it and binge on the breast when they are together again. This is certainly the case with Lily. Pretty much all week, she nursed every hour once we got home after work. Although I love spending all the quality time with her, it is hard for me to get anything done! And she went from nursing once or twice in the night to 3-4 times. Luckily, throughout the week I got more efficient at pumping at work and established a routine. I only use the hospital pumps when I have time to travel to them during my lunch break. Unfortunately, this still only gives me about 5 minutes to gobble down some food but at least I get to eat, unlike Monday. I bring my own pump from home and use it in the nearest restroom during my morning and afternoon breaks which allows me to pump for 10 minutes. I feel disconnected from my coworkers as we usually all eat lunch together and catch up on our lives. I take my 5 minutes of eating alone on my way to and from pumping. However, I spend my pumping time thinking about my baby and continuing my commitment to pumping and breastfeeding makes me feel connected to Lily when we are apart.
On Tuesday morning, Paul and I took time off in shifts. I took from 8:30-10:30 off to take Lily to her appointment with the Otolaryngologist and Paul took from 10:00-12:00 to drive her to Kirsten's afterward. The appointment with the Otolaryngologist was because of the occasional problem Lily is having with milk dripping out of her nose while nursing on her right side. The doctor put a scope up one nostril then the other to visualize her nasal openings and palate. She sat in my lap while a PA held her head still. Poor Lily screamed throughout the procedure. He said that it doesn't hurt but it is uncomfortable. Luckily it was fairly quick. She stopped crying shortly afterward and was actually smiling a few minutes later. He did not see any problems which was a big relief. He just said to nurse her in a more upright position which is what I have been doing. However, he was concerned because he noticed that she held her head to the right side the entire time. He asked if she does that frequently and in thinking back, I realized that she does. He was concerned about a problem called torticollis and wanted to order an x-ray to see if there was a physiological reason for her head tilt and ordered physical therapy to fix it. We went straight over to the x-ray since we had a little time before I needed to return to work. That procedure was yet another torture for Lily. They had to strap her upright to a board which reminded me of a circus show where they strap people onto a spinning wheel and throw knives at them. She had velcro straps across her chest and arms holding her in place then another strap around her chin holding her head up and accentuating her chipmunk cheeks. She actually looked kind of cute and funny in it and I didn't mind at first because she was actually babbling when the x-rays started. Then she tried to move and realized that she couldn't. That was when the screaming started. They took four x-rays. It was fairly fast but in my mind it took forever. It took a long time to calm Lily down after the x-ray. I took her into a dressing room to nurse her which finally calmed her then I turned her over to Paul who took her to Kirsten's. I was worried how she would do for the rest of the day after such a traumatic morning. Apparently she slept on the car ride and then was a happy baby for Kirsten. I was so glad. She recovered from the day much easier than I did!
On Wednesday, I looked up torticollis on the internet which totally freaked me out. They said it can be connected with other problems such as hip dysplasia and can lead to facial deformity if not fixed. Sometimes the kid needs to wear a neck collar to help fix it! I called to make the physical therapy appointments but they can't get us in until the beginning of June. I worry about what to do in the meantime.
Rachel left for 5th grade camp on Wednesday morning. She has been excited about it for weeks so I really hoped that she would have a blast. They stayed overnight at the camp on Wednesday and Thursday night. Rachel really wanted us to visit her there so we went to Camp Copneconic in Fenton on Thursday after work. It was skit night which was organized chaos. Rachel was really excited to have us there. All the kids looked like they were having so much fun and we got to meet some of Rachel's new friends.
I was grateful that we had Friday off of work. Unfortunately, the reason we had the day off was to take Lily to her 2 month doctor appointment which is when they give her a ton of shots. I made Paul take the day off with me for moral support. We took bets on how much we thought she would weigh. Since she was 12 lbs 4 oz last Wednesday, I figured she wouldn't be much bigger. Especially since she spent the week getting used to bottle feeding during the day which meant she may be eating less. I was surprised that she was 12 lbs 13 oz. She is in the 88th percentile for weight. Her length was 22.83 inches which is in the 61st percentile. Her head circumference is 15.47 inches which is in the 58th percentile. This was the first time we got to see Dr. Sachdev. I really liked her. She reassured us about the torticollis and gave us suggestions on what to do with her in the meantime. She said the x-rays were normal and didn't feel any masses or stiffness in her neck and thought that the problem more stemmed from an unintentional favoring of the right side on our part. Lily sleeps with me on her right side, we change her diaper from her right side, and Rachel sits on Lily's right side in the car. She said to mix things up and do more tummy time and, as Lily's neck strength improves, the problem should resolve itself. Hopefully we won't even need the physical therapy but we will keep the appointment anyway to see what they say. At the end of the appointment, the medical assistant came in to do the dreaded shots. First she gave Lily an oral vaccination for Rotovirus. Then she gave her three shots. Two in one leg and one in the other. One of the shots was Pediarix which is a combo of Hepatitis B vaccine, Polio vaccine, and DTaP vaccine for Diphtheria, Tetanus, and Pertusis. The other two, Hib and Prevnar, protect against meningitis. Paul held Lily down and the medical assistant gave the shots and administered the band-aids so fast that she was done before Lily even started to cry. The cry was horrible, though! Her "I'm in pain" cry is just heartbreaking. Luckily I have never heard it before and I don't want to hear it again. I was able to calm her down by nursing her. We gave her some Tylenol to help with the pain and reduce any fever that may occur. Lily spent most of the day sleeping. They warned us that the Rotovirus vaccine can cause diarrhea and it certainly did! She had very frequent runny green poops for two days. I don't think she got a fever and she only seemed a bit fussy so I think she handled the vaccinations pretty well. I am glad that we did it on a Friday, though, to give her the weekend home with us to recover and nurse on me for comfort. We picked up Rachel from school and got to hear all about how much fun camp was. Later that evening, we had a meeting at Rachel's school. She decided that she wants to play the violin in orchestra next year so we had to meet with the instrument rental company. Rachel was super excited about it all and practiced her violin for hours when she got home. It was a beautiful night so we had a bonfire in the fire pit on the patio. Lily was fascinated by the fire which was so cute.
On Saturday, we went to an early dinner in Lansing with my family to celebrate Todd's graduation from MSU. We didn't attend the 3 hour graduation ceremony because I figured Lily wouldn't be able to handle it. She was pretty good throughout the dinner. She was a bit fussy still from her vaccinations but we had a lot of people who just passed her around. When we got home, we ran some errands then finally relaxed and I cleaned the upstairs of the house.
Sunday was my first official Mother's Day. That will be a separate blog entry.
Here are some pictures from the week.

We put a camera in Lily's diaper bag at Kirsten's so here is a picture that she took of Lily on her playmat: