Journey to and Through Motherhood: Lily: 1 Year and 4 Weeks (3/22/10

This was a super stressful week. It started with Lily not wanting to sleep at all on Sunday night. She kept waking up crying inconsolably. She wouldn’t take her pacifier or nurse but then would suddenly put the pacifier in her mouth herself and fall right back to sleep. This happened multiple times. Then at 4am, she decided that she was wide awake and wanted to stay that way. We ended up putting her in her crib for an hour because we desperately needed sleep! Paul first plopped her in the crib then abruptly walked away which caused her to wail. I couldn’t sleep with her crying, of course, so I went in and calmed her down and then slowly left the room. She cried a little off and on so I was able to catch a little bit of sleep between her whimpers. When she heard Paul get up to take his shower at 5am, she started bawling again so I brought her into bed with me. However, she still wouldn’t settle down and kept trying to crawl off the bed which frightened me. Paul took her downstairs with him after his shower and I went back to bed to get a whopping half an hour of uninterrupted sleep. I had a terrible migraine all day Monday triggered by my lack of sleep. I worked at the Brighton Health Center so I picked Lily up from Kirsten’s and got home before Paul. By the time he got home, I was horribly nauseated from my headache so I turned Lily over to him and took a nap. Thankfully, she slept much better that night.

This was Lily’s last full week with Kirsten as she has to start a new daycare on April 1. I admit that I am quite a procrastinator and I especially tend to put off unpleasant things. Who can blame me? I researched a ton of different daycares back in February when Kirsten gave us notice but only got a chance to call the 8 of them that were on our route between home and work. I visited the 2 that were in our price range when I had the day off for Lily’s birthday but hadn’t found the time to take a day off to visit or call any more daycares since. I wasn’t too concerned but suddenly the end of March is almost here and I still haven’t figured out where Lily is going when our time with Kirsten ends! I was 98% sure that I was going to sign Lily up with the first daycare I visited on her birthday but was waffling due to the owner’s vacation policy and the fact that she wasn’t Kirsten. I know that I am never going to find anyone as wonderful as Kirsten and that I am going to have to make concessions, but I don’t want to. However, transition day is fast approaching so I decided to bite the bullet and call the daycare on Tuesday to sign Lily up since we were able to get Paul’s hours changed at work so that we could pick Lily up before their 5:30 closing time. To my horror, the daycare no longer had any openings! I had a complete panic attack and am still totally kicking myself for putting off committing Lily to it. But how was I to know that the first place I interviewed at would be the best? I didn’t want to commit before checking out other places and risk having to rudely back out of my commitment. Most daycares are nowhere near capacity right now due to the high unemployment rate so the thought of that one becoming full never crossed my mind. Now I only have one week to find something else!!! I spent all of my spare time on Tuesday calling every daycare I had researched back in February. I made almost 50 phone calls that day. Unfortunately, there was no other option near home and I couldn’t afford 90% of the places I called. It was so frustrating! I did set up a few interviews, though, and was able to get Thursday afternoon off work. I visited one place that wasn’t too far out of the way in Ann Arbor on Tuesday night. Paul met me and Lily there when he got out of work. It was okay but had an odd vibe. I know that I can’t be so picky but I hate settling when it comes to something as important as Lily’s care. Paul kept reassuring me that wherever we choose is not set in stone and that we can always keep looking and change places if something better comes along. However, I would like to get it right the first time as I don’t want to put Lily someplace that isn’t good for her and I don’t want to put her through a lot of stressful transitions. I hate that I can’t afford many places. I feel guilty about not making enough money to afford more options for Lily and even guiltier that we can’t just live off one income and have me be a stay-at-home mom like I want to.

I made even more phone calls on Wednesday and Lily and I visited two daycares in Pinckney after I got out of work. The first place was way too far away and potentially unsafe. The second place was one that I had visited and liked back when I was first looking for daycare a year ago before Kirsten came along and saved us. The owner currently only watches two other kids so there’s a high potential for a lot of individual attention which I liked. Unfortunately, I got the impression that the owner wasn’t very hands-on and she complained multiple times about a clingy child whose parents “spoiled” her by holding her all the time. I didn’t like that. Lily is a cuddler who loves to be held so I decided that daycare was not a good fit for her. Plus, the daycare’s location adds at least 40 minutes to our commute each day which equals a lot of lost quality time with Lily.

On my Thursday afternoon off of work, Lily and I visited three daycares on the south side of Ann Arbor. The first was nice but the furthest away. The second was just plain scary. The third was one I almost committed to before Kirsten came along. It is very nice and the owner is great but the daycare is quite busy so I fear that Lily will not get much one-on-one attention. Paul and I did a lot of discussion and calculations that night and figured that all of these daycares being so many miles off our normal route would not only rob us of an average of 40 minutes/day of quality time with Lily but would also cost us an extra $20/week in gas money not to mention the extra wear and tear on our vehicles. We could actually spend that extra $20/week on the base cost of a daycare closer to home and save ourselves a lot of time while spending the same amount of money per week. So I looked through all of the daycares that I didn’t interview at based on cost and found two that fit our new price range that were very close to our route to and from work. I set up an appointment with one for Friday evening and one for Sunday afternoon. The one I visited on Friday evening was wonderful! Not only was it only 3 miles away from work but also has a pay by the hour policy which at first I thought would make it more expensive, but will actually save us a lot of money because the owner doesn’t charge for holidays, sick days, or any time Lily is not there. It is an in-home daycare with only a few kids and the lady and her mom are the care providers so Lily will get a lot of individual attention while still getting the opportunity to interact and play with other kids. They are really hands-on and seem very nice. Plus Lily seemed very comfortable with them. I think it is just what we are looking for. I told Tammy, the owner, that I would probably be stopping by after work on Monday to fill out the paperwork to sign Lily up at her daycare but that I would let her know for sure on Monday morning. I visited our final daycare on Sunday afternoon. Kirsten had actually used this daycare before and highly recommended it. The owner was very nice but her price was not flexible and she had no vacation policy. This made her daycare the most expensive option and it didn’t have any features to justify the added expense besides a good recommendation. I am 99.9% sure that I will commit to Tammy on Monday but I first want to get some references from her. Poor Lily was worn out from being dragged from daycare to daycare with me all week. She was such a good sport, though, enduring long repeated car rides to unfamiliar places and missing naps and playtime with very little fussing!

Obviously, most of my week was wrapped up in daycare drama but I also had some fun. I picked up Lily’s pictures from Portrait Innovations and her CD of photos by Two Angels Photography on Tuesday. They are all so cute! After my huge relief of visiting Tammy’s daycare on Friday, I went to a jewelry party at Kirsten’s house. It was fun and was the first time that I was able to relax all week. While I was at the party, I got a text that my co-worker Meghan had her baby. She went into the hospital on Thursday night and had baby Abygail at 3:58pm on Friday. I am so excited for her! We visited them at the hospital on Saturday but Lily got very jealous when I tried to hold Abygail. We couldn’t visit for long because we had to head out to Christopher’s 1st birthday party. After the party, we sat on the couch for the first time all week and enjoyed our free Showtime preview. On Sunday afternoon, we drove to the courthouse in Howell so Paul will know where to go and how much time to give himself when he reports for jury duty on Monday morning. Sucks for him! We then went to For Feet's Sake in Milford to look for shoes for Lily. I wanted to get her either Stride Rite SRTs or Pedipeds but ended up buying her an adorable pair of Robeez. Christina had recommended Robeez as they stay on her kids’ feet. The clerk said that Robeez allow for natural foot motion like Pedipeds but are a lot less slippery and will be better on our wood floors. I can’t believe how well Lily walks in the Robeez! She normally stumbles around when wearing shoes. The clerk said that Stride Rite SRTs are wonderful as well but she didn’t have any in stock so we decided to go to the Stride Rite store in Twelve Oaks Mall. We really liked their SRTs and Lily walked quite well in them but they didn’t have what I wanted in her size so we ended up getting them at Nordstrom’s instead. Kids’ shoes are so expensive! The Robeez were $40 and the Stride Rites were $52. However, we needed to get good shoes for Lily’s fat feet so that she can walk outside. Thankfully, my mom offered to pay for the Stride Rites for us. My parents are so generous. We thought about having Lily’s picture taken with the Easter Bunny while we were at the mall but we didn’t have her dressed up and the line was quite long. We decided against it figuring that her response to the Easter Bunny would be equivalent to the Santa incident in December. Maybe next year! Lily napped from 6-7:30pm on the way home from the mall then was up until 11pm. Hopefully this won’t throw off her sleep schedule as it took her almost all of last week to adjust to Daylight Savings Time.

On a sad note, we realized earlier in the week that our cat Nolan is now completely blind. He has cataracts and has had difficulty seeing for a while but now it appears that he cannot see at all. He can still find his food and water in the laundry room and go through the cat door to use the litter box in the basement just fine but he frequently bumps into things wandering around the house. I found him on Sunday in the corner of our dining room behind one of the plants meowing sadly. I feel so bad for our poor old arthritic blind kitty! Despite the occasional confusion, he seems to be as happy as ever, purring when he eats and enjoying his naps in the sunbeam on the couch. He still appears to be enjoying life as a geriatric cat so I guess I shouldn’t worry so much about him.

Here are some pictures from this week.

Lily playing with her gumballs on Monday. I love this sweater: